just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
