its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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