Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
