Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
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