I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Too much gin, very little bucket
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
