My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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