O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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