I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
