my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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