Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
