He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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