Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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