I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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