in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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