just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
