Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
