What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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