you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Alive.
So much puke
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
