For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
