I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
