lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
