What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
