I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
