i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
