In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
