It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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