Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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