What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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