He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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