That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
