Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
