I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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