I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
