; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
