His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
