I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He better not be in your backpack
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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