Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize