last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
