They should really pass out barf bags in church
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
