Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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