giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
