Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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