wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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