yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
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