I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
