In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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