Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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