I can't breathe out the right side of my face
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
