Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize