He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
