do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
