You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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