OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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