singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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