brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
