I faked an abortion last night.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
