I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
