Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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