stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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