She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
