Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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