i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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