I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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