I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
