I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
