Your dad touched me again.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
