I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
