big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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